The Whole Bloody Affair: A Roaring Rampage of Revenge

A couple of weeks ago I traveled to Los Angeles to see The Whole Bloody Affair in all its glory. There is a special place in my geek heart for Kill Bill. The cruel tutelage of Pai Mei. Kiddo’s slaughter of Yakuza minions. The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.  The films offer a cinematic feast of fun. I’ve watched each film more times than I can count, I can recite passages of dialogue before characters say them, and I own a replica of Kiddo’s yellow jumpsuit. So, I’m pretty serious about my devotion to this fun film.

Walking into the New Beverly Cinema was like rewinding the clock 50 years. The cinema had a brightly-lit vintage marquee out front, which on the night I went exclaimed happy birthday to our dear Quentin Tarantino. Walking inside, the foyer was tiny, the snack counter was barely existent (but had refreshingly reasonable prices), and the two restrooms combined would have fit into a small broom closet. The one theater housed about 200 seats and the screen was much smaller than most we see nowadays. In short, it was charming. I snagged a front-row seat, which was perfect for the screen distance and size.

Before the feature presentation, in typical Tarantino flair, several previews of coming attractions for ‘70s and ‘80s grindhouse genre films were shown, including Coffy, The Million Eyes of Sumuru, and Shogun Assasin (the film that BeBe watches with Beatrix at the end of Kill Bill volume 2). The pre-show reel also included an animated sing-along of dancing concessions urging us to get snacks and Dr. Pepper in retro style and a panther warning us that the film was Restricted. Then the glowing seal of the Cannes Film Festival appeared, affirming that this was the original, personal print from Tarantino’s first screening of this version of the film.

With the volume turned way up, the action sequences of Beatrix Kiddo’s roaring rampage of revenge physically reverberated in the audience. You could literally feel the tension. The cinematography looked beautifully visceral on a “big” screen.

Now, to answer the question everyone keeps asking me about the film: “So, what’s different?” Actually, several things, some small and others not-so-small. All the action sequences were a little longer and a little more satisfying (if that’s even possible). For example, in the famous scene where Beatrix harpoons the Crazy 88’s, the carnage radiates in technicolor instead of shifting to  muted censor-friendly black-and-white. This may not seem like a huge change until you see the difference in stunning color and detail, red blood splattering every frame. There were other differences in the Crazy 88 sequence. My favorite difference occurs after Beatrix plucks an unsuspecting warrior’s eye out; in this version, she promptly shoves the veiny eyeball into another guy’s mouth and he gulps it down in surprise. It can only be described as awesome.

Other small details include: a voiceover from Pai-Mei describing how Beatrix must suppress her emotions when she walks away from Vernita Green’s Pasadena home, a shot showing Beatrix does indeed cut off Sophie Fatale’s other arm (leaving her a sad, stumpy figure, perfect for taking a roll down the snowy slope to the hospital), and more blood and guts shown in the anime sequence of Oren-Ishii’s past.  I didn’t notice as many changes in the second half of the film after the intermission (what is known as Kill Bill volume 2) but watching the two films together made them feel more harmonious and less disjointed.

Perhaps the most significant difference was that in The Whole Bloody Affair, when Sophie tells Bill of Beatrix’s brutality, Bill does not ask Sophie about Beatrix’s daughter. This means that Tarantino’s original intent was to have the audience share in Beatrix’s surprise when she sees her daughter for the first time at the end of the film. In cutting the film into volumes 1 and 2, apparently the powers-that-be decided they needed a hook, and so they added the line about Beatrix’s daughter still being alive, eliminating the entire shockingly emotional reveal in the single film version.

Even though the film ran at 4 hours and 11 minutes (not including the lengthy previews), I would watch it again in a second, French subtitles and all.

Paul: "He's not dangerous. He's kinda rude."

Okay, I know I'm a total dork, but I really enjoyed this movie. This alien-comedy by Nick Frost and Simon Pegg (the blokes who brought you Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) was self-aware, self-referential, and packed full of geeky goodness. References to Star Wars, E.T., Close Encounters of the Third Kind, The X-Files, and Star Trek (and I'm sure many others that I missed) were plentiful and fun to spot, and believe it or not, they didn't feel trite. In fact, the writing was clever, simultaneously making fun of and paying homage to the genre stereotypes. The overall plot was simple, but it allowed for hilarious and endearing character development and interaction.

Although my geek goggles might be skewing my vision, I laughed heartily and obnoxiously throughout the film, and I give it a heartfelt recommendation.

The Whole Bloody Affair

Today I bought a plane ticket to fly to LA to see The Whole Bloody Affair-- the Kill Bill movies edited into one glorious cinematic experience. And the cherry on top is that the screening takes place at Tarantino's theater, The New Beverly. I'll probably be so overwhelmed with happiness that I'll laugh and cry at the same time (kind of like Beatrix at the end of Kill Bill vol 2).

For those of you who aren't aware of my unabashed adoration of Master Quinten Tarantino, he's my favorite screenwriter and probably my favorite director. Let it be written. And while I love many of his films, I have a very special kind of love for the Kill Bill movies, which probably borders on rivaling Tarantino's love for feet. I've watched vol 1 and 2 so many times that I have them memorized, frame for frame, and I still enjoy watching them every time. So the thought of seeing these two films mashed together and edited as my love had originally intended is practically enough to make my head explode.

I will take note of every detail of my experience for future generations and fellow film freaks who will be unable to attend. (The week's worth of screenings sold out in a day.) The only question remaining: do I wear my Beatrix Kiddo jumpsuit?

Rental Release: Mary & Max

Mary & Max, a beautiful claymation film from Australia, is the right mixture of sweet, hilarious, and bleak. The film is about two lonely hearts— a young girl and a troubled older man who become strange and awkward pen-pals. Both characters lead pretty depressing lives, but the film shows the charm and hope that shines through simple human interaction.

Max and Mary are voiced by Philip Seymour Hoffman and Toni Collette (both Academy Award winners) who deliver their deadpan lines with perfect cadence. As much as I loved the claymation, the writing was my favorite part this film, chuck full of fresh, interesting, and (cautiously) playful dialogue. I definitely think it’s worth watching. However, you may want to watch it with a comforting pint of Ben and Jerry’s—it’s not exactly cheery.

Rental Release: Exit Through the Gift Shop

This film was much more intelligent and complicated than I initially gave it credit for. As usual, I don’t want to give too much away, because this film unwraps itself deliberately and poignantly. I do want to make it clear that this film is not about Banksy. And it’s not even a film about graffiti/street art. Rather, this is a film about what art means and how people interact with it, and the vehicle through which it explores these questions is so interesting and so grounded in a terrifying reality that it took me by surprise. Halfway through the film I thought, “Why is it lingering on these odd moments?” but it made sense as the film progressed (as does the film's title), and it ended up being one of the most thought-provoking films I’ve seen in a while. It was clever, funny, and earnest, leaving me satisfied and smiling. I recommend this film to anyone who is remotely interested in art and its relationship with the public.

True Grit: "Looking back is a bad habit."

If you haven't seen True Grit, you need to stop reading and buy a ticket right now. I mean it. If you're reading on, I'll be upset if you haven't bought a ticket already. Hands down, this is one of the best films of the year-- really fun and really well done: well-paced, well-written, and well-acted.


Before embarking on this adventure, I worried that this western (which one critic compared to Treasure Island-- WTF?) would be too contrived; but my worries were put to bed within the first 10 minutes of the film. The way in which Jeff Bridges and Hailee Steinfeld delivered their lines blew me away, each snarky remark perfectly timed and full of sincerity. (I could have done with or without Matt Damon-- he was clearly outshined by both his castmates.)


I was in the moment and along for the ride throughout the entire film, swept up by the story and charmed by the dialogue. However, the last 15 minutes of the film pull a flash-forward, which almost always bugs me on principle. But alas, it's a small complaint for such a great experience. I'm already excited to own this film, so I can repeatedly rewatch and chew on the dialogue some more.

"There's us and the dead."

Okay, so this is a little late coming and it's kind of a no-brainer (no pun intended) but if you're not watching The Walking Dead, you're missing out on the best zombie story ever put to screen. I love zombie movies, but The Walking Dead puts them all to shame (yes, I'm talking to you, Romero). This television experience shows you what a zombie story should be.

Not to get too gushy, but this show continually blows my mind. From the first episode, I was hooked on not only the writing and the story, but the way it's shot. It's one of the most cinematic shows I've ever seen-- pure gorgeousness (amongst all the guts and gore). All along the way, there are brilliant and beautiful decisions made in the framing, juxtaposition, and angles of shots. This is the first zombie story to take itself seriously.

If you're not particularly gripped by the cinematography, I promise you the story will grab you. It's packed full of interesting, complex characters, dramatic irony, and writing that gives you a perpetual sense of anxiety-- I feel like they will kill off whoever they please, with no respect of persons. Not to mention, the gore is pretty fun.

If you're not able to catch it Sundays on AMC, watch it online. You'll be sorry if you don't. And if you didn't hear, the show has officially just been renewed for a full 13-episode season next year. Oh yeah!