The Whole Bloody Affair: A Roaring Rampage of Revenge

A couple of weeks ago I traveled to Los Angeles to see The Whole Bloody Affair in all its glory. There is a special place in my geek heart for Kill Bill. The cruel tutelage of Pai Mei. Kiddo’s slaughter of Yakuza minions. The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.  The films offer a cinematic feast of fun. I’ve watched each film more times than I can count, I can recite passages of dialogue before characters say them, and I own a replica of Kiddo’s yellow jumpsuit. So, I’m pretty serious about my devotion to this fun film.

Walking into the New Beverly Cinema was like rewinding the clock 50 years. The cinema had a brightly-lit vintage marquee out front, which on the night I went exclaimed happy birthday to our dear Quentin Tarantino. Walking inside, the foyer was tiny, the snack counter was barely existent (but had refreshingly reasonable prices), and the two restrooms combined would have fit into a small broom closet. The one theater housed about 200 seats and the screen was much smaller than most we see nowadays. In short, it was charming. I snagged a front-row seat, which was perfect for the screen distance and size.

Before the feature presentation, in typical Tarantino flair, several previews of coming attractions for ‘70s and ‘80s grindhouse genre films were shown, including Coffy, The Million Eyes of Sumuru, and Shogun Assasin (the film that BeBe watches with Beatrix at the end of Kill Bill volume 2). The pre-show reel also included an animated sing-along of dancing concessions urging us to get snacks and Dr. Pepper in retro style and a panther warning us that the film was Restricted. Then the glowing seal of the Cannes Film Festival appeared, affirming that this was the original, personal print from Tarantino’s first screening of this version of the film.

With the volume turned way up, the action sequences of Beatrix Kiddo’s roaring rampage of revenge physically reverberated in the audience. You could literally feel the tension. The cinematography looked beautifully visceral on a “big” screen.

Now, to answer the question everyone keeps asking me about the film: “So, what’s different?” Actually, several things, some small and others not-so-small. All the action sequences were a little longer and a little more satisfying (if that’s even possible). For example, in the famous scene where Beatrix harpoons the Crazy 88’s, the carnage radiates in technicolor instead of shifting to  muted censor-friendly black-and-white. This may not seem like a huge change until you see the difference in stunning color and detail, red blood splattering every frame. There were other differences in the Crazy 88 sequence. My favorite difference occurs after Beatrix plucks an unsuspecting warrior’s eye out; in this version, she promptly shoves the veiny eyeball into another guy’s mouth and he gulps it down in surprise. It can only be described as awesome.

Other small details include: a voiceover from Pai-Mei describing how Beatrix must suppress her emotions when she walks away from Vernita Green’s Pasadena home, a shot showing Beatrix does indeed cut off Sophie Fatale’s other arm (leaving her a sad, stumpy figure, perfect for taking a roll down the snowy slope to the hospital), and more blood and guts shown in the anime sequence of Oren-Ishii’s past.  I didn’t notice as many changes in the second half of the film after the intermission (what is known as Kill Bill volume 2) but watching the two films together made them feel more harmonious and less disjointed.

Perhaps the most significant difference was that in The Whole Bloody Affair, when Sophie tells Bill of Beatrix’s brutality, Bill does not ask Sophie about Beatrix’s daughter. This means that Tarantino’s original intent was to have the audience share in Beatrix’s surprise when she sees her daughter for the first time at the end of the film. In cutting the film into volumes 1 and 2, apparently the powers-that-be decided they needed a hook, and so they added the line about Beatrix’s daughter still being alive, eliminating the entire shockingly emotional reveal in the single film version.

Even though the film ran at 4 hours and 11 minutes (not including the lengthy previews), I would watch it again in a second, French subtitles and all.

True Grit: "Looking back is a bad habit."

If you haven't seen True Grit, you need to stop reading and buy a ticket right now. I mean it. If you're reading on, I'll be upset if you haven't bought a ticket already. Hands down, this is one of the best films of the year-- really fun and really well done: well-paced, well-written, and well-acted.


Before embarking on this adventure, I worried that this western (which one critic compared to Treasure Island-- WTF?) would be too contrived; but my worries were put to bed within the first 10 minutes of the film. The way in which Jeff Bridges and Hailee Steinfeld delivered their lines blew me away, each snarky remark perfectly timed and full of sincerity. (I could have done with or without Matt Damon-- he was clearly outshined by both his castmates.)


I was in the moment and along for the ride throughout the entire film, swept up by the story and charmed by the dialogue. However, the last 15 minutes of the film pull a flash-forward, which almost always bugs me on principle. But alas, it's a small complaint for such a great experience. I'm already excited to own this film, so I can repeatedly rewatch and chew on the dialogue some more.

Dinner for Schmucks: You say I'm a dreamer

In Dinner for Schmucks, most the humor was built around making situations more and more over-the-top. If you ask me, that’s a pretty cheap way to do a comedy (see Meet the Parents). It ignores the need for witty dialog, the element of surprise, or clever writing.

This film definitely had some funny moments scattered throughout (in the few places where it didn't just rely on its pure silliness), but it was difficult to contextualize these moments or to care about the movie as a whole.

To sum up my very short critique, I wouldn’t recommend this movie. It wasn’t horrible, but it wasn’t good. I don’t know what else to say about it. It was perfectly underwhelming.

More Comic-Con Goodness: Megamind & Cowboys and Aliens

It's going to take me forever to post all the cool stuff at Comic-Con, so I hope my readers will bear with my self-indulgence. Here are two panels that I wasn't excited for, but that won me over with their Comic-Con charm and super-cool movie clips.

If you couldn't tell from the picture, Will Ferrell dressed up like Megamind for the movie's panel, which I have to say, was pretty charming. There weren't as many people who dressed up this year, and it was fun to see an actor go the extra mile and do something that took time and effort. Not to mention, his banter with Tina Fey and Jonah Hill made the panel the funniest at the Con.

The clips also made the movie look better than I'd thought. I'm going to give away a little bit of a spoiler, but I think it's worth sharing because it made me want to see the movie. It was clear that Megamind kills Metroman at the beginning of the film, and that the rest of the film deals with Megamind coping with the boredom that comes after killing his archnemesis. It seemed like a much more sophisticated plot than the previews had shown.

The Cowboys and Aliens panel was a surprise hit. First of all, it was Harrisson Ford's first appearance at Comic-Con (hence he made it look like it took handcuffs and an escort to get him there). Since Ford is a geek god between Star Wars, Indiana Jones, and Blade Runner, it was the most insane reception I've ever seen in my 5 years in Hall H. Between the screaming and roaring applause, it felt like the walls were going to cave in.

The panel also included Daniel Craig and Sam Rockwell. What could be cooler than Indiana Jones, James Bond, and Justin Hammer all in one place? I acknowledge the dumbess of the title Cowboys and Aliens, but the actors were impressive and the clips looked pretty awesome-- like a classic western with some aliens thrown in. I was sold.

Comic-Con Sunday

My last day at geek mecca. However, this isn't the end of my Comic-Con blog posts, because I have lots of stuff to fill in.

The cast of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia unveiled their premiere for next season. It's entitled, "Who got Dee pregnant?" and needless to say, it's hilarious. Kaitlin Olson, the actress who plays Sweet Dee, actually showed up to Comic-Con with a bun in the oven. The main characters also had Cricket on stage with them and assured us that the gang is not through torturing poor Cricket.

                                  

                                  

This was one of the highlights of my day-- these two girls "dressed up" like Hall H victims. In case you haven't heard, on Saturday, two guys got into a scuffle over a seat in Hall H and one guy stabbed the other in the eye with a pen. I was there, and I can tell you, the seat wasn't even good.

                              

The final hurrah of Comic-Con was the screening of the Buffy episode "Once More With Feeling," which is a sing-along with a Rocky Horror vibe to it. I yelled "Shut up, Dawn!" so many times that I lost my voice. We also yelled, "Bite me!" whenever Spike appeared on screen and "Liar!" when Buffy tells Spike she's never going to be with him and when Xander tells Anya he'll never leave her. If that wasn't enough fun, we were given clever traffic tickets (which I'll post later) and little monster finger puppets (so we could say, "Grrr! Arrrgh!" during the closing credits).

Comic-Con Saturday: Mostly Marvel Madness

So I've been a bad girl, and I didn't update my blog yesterday, which means I'm bursting to get tons of cool stuff off my chest. The last two days have been insane. Let's start with what blew my mind the most.

THE ENTIRE AVENGERS CAST WAS REVEALED! Not only was the cast revealed, but everyone showed up, along with the film's writer/director Joss Whedon. I kid you not, I had geek chills. I lost my voice screaming. So the big reveal everyone's been waiting for: The Hulk will be played by Mark Ruffalo. And surprise! Jeremy Renner will play Hawkeye.

I have the highest hopes for The Avengers movie. It would be difficult for most writers and directors to juggle so many strong characters and actors at one time, but Whedon has experience doing exactly that with Firefly and Serenity. And I can't wait for him to write some snarky lines for Tony Stark (snarky wit is another of Whedon's specialties). I think he's going to blow people away.

                                        

                                         

The highlight of the Green Lantern panel, believe it or not, was not the film footage (which was short and didn't show much-- it didn't even show the suit). In fact, the highlight was when a young fan asked Reynolds to recite the Green Lantern oath, which he had refused to do on many other  occasions. You could see the kid brighten up and renew his love for comic book heroes as Reynolds said the lines in his best heroic voice.

                                                

Unlike the Green Lantern panel, the Thor panel showed a lot of polished footage. Visually, it looks great. The color palette, set design, and other-world feel was done well. Plus, I'm a sucker for Natalie Portman. What geek isn't?

                                      

The Captain America footage was more like a teaser. It's definitely going to be his origin story, set during WW II. What we saw, clearly showed what Marvel has already hinted at-- that they're carefully interweaving all their different characters into one universe, which isn't an easy thing to do. The stories overlap slightly, and all the characters exist on the same plane, culminating in the big movie everyone's waiting for-- the Avengers. Pretty effing cool.

As a side note, there was a stabbing in Hall H today while I was there. It was pretty crazy. I guess a fan got into a scuffle and stabbed someone in the eye over a seat. The whole thing was so unexpected. Nothing like that has ever happened at Comic-Con. Geeks are such a peaceful people.

Comic-Con Thursday

So here's the scoop on what happened at Comic-Con today. I'm not gonna lie, some pretty freaking awesome stuff went down.

Jaw-dropping moment today: Guillermo del Toro announced he'll be directing a remake of Disney's Haunted Mansion. He beamed as he made his announcement and explained that he has an entire room in his house devoted to the spooky Disneyland ride. He says this film will not be a comedy; it will be scary but fun. He also assured the crowd, "Don't worry, we have not been returning Eddie Murphy's calls." I love Guillermo del Toro.

At the Tron panel, they showed some amazing footage. I now have more faith in the film than I ever did. The film shows the Jeff Bridges you see before you, but it also shows a digitally-altered Jeff Bridges, who appears 27 years younger. The effects are seemless. Check out the exclusive Comic-Con trailer here  http//:g4tv.com/videos/47595/Tron-Legacy-Comic-Con-2010-Trailer/

Comic-Con Preview Night

In case you haven't heard, I'm at Comic-Con. The geek fest leaves me tired at the end of the day, but I'm going to try to leave little blog posts everyday, and I'll fill in the blanks later. So here's the coolest stuff from today.

                                    

Light cycle from Tron.

Set piece: throne room from Thor.

True Blood is coming out with a comic.

Tron Wii remote.

Prop from the Green Lantern movie: Abin Sur (the alien who gives Green Lantern his powers).

Got trapped in an action figure package.

Predator head.

Played with zombie movie props. Yes, that's two chainsaws ducktaped onto a paddle.

While I'm at the Con, I'm constantly tweeting, and I upload photos to my Twitter first, so follow AshleyGeekGirl on Twitter if you want all the juicy details.

Inception: "What's the most resilient parasite? An idea."

Inception was delicious eye candy. I’m not ashamed to say it, and I’m not ashamed I liked it. But I don’t intend to watch it again, unlike many others who have seen the film. The story was interesting, the writing was good, and the acting was par. But it was the visual aspect that grabbed me—I’m glad I saw it in IMAX.

I’m gonna cut to the chase—the visuals had me drooling the entire time. It wasn’t too over-the-top or incohesive (like a Terry Gilliam mess) and it wasn’t what the layman labels “creative” (like M. Night Shyamalan or Tim Burton). It was actually different and interesting.


Between the beautiful shots of people fighting while floating and cities folding into themselves, there were certain inconsistencies within this world that did not make sense to me. But that goes with the territory when you see a film like this, and it’s almost unavoidable. You just have to set all your logic on the shelf before the film begins. Luckily, the story and the visuals will soothe your logic-less brain. And after walking away, don’t bother wasting time pondering the film’s contradictions or lapses in logic.


I recommend a one-time must-see. It’s the film everyone’s talking about, and you’ll be shunned from social circles and awkwardly ostracized at parties if you don’t see it. But you don’t have to succumb to peer pressure and pretend you’re going to see it twice.

Comic-Con Episode Four: A Fan's Hope

So don't hate me, but this post isn't a movie review. It's about Joss Whedon and Morgan Spurlock's upcoming documentary "Comic-Con Episode Four: A Fan's Hope." I think the title's pretty self-explanatory. 

They posted several calls to action, asking geeks to write them for a chance to be in the documentary. So I did. And I just got an email from the casting director and we're supposed to have a phone interview this week, so wish me luck!

Below is my little blurb I submitted, explaining my undying love for Comic-Con.

..........................................

A little about myself

Name: Ashley Walton

Age: 23

Location: Spanish Fork, Utah

Occupation: Copywriter

Favorite ComicCon Memory: Dancing with Tim and Eric at the 2008 Adult Swim Party

Hobbies: Going to concerts, reading graphic novels, throwing LAN parties, playing Buffy on Xbox, watching Firefly for the fifth time, playing Star Wars monopoly, collecting DVDs, and watching every horror movie I can get my hands on.

Somewhere around April, I begin to feel giddy anticipation for the end of July. My first time at ComicCon, I was fourteen, and the reasons I loved it then are the same reasons I love it now— and it’s not just the super cool merchandise like zombie teddy bears and obscure T-shirts (although I do love my Fruity Oaty Bar tee). It happens to be the camaraderie, that and the sheer absurdity and whimsicalness of it all.

Every year I make the pilgrimage to geek Mecca with my brother. Together we battle lines snaking all the way to the ocean to enjoy panels featuring the pantheon of geek gods and watch 2-minute peeks of movies that will come out a year later. We accumulate geek points by playing our private game “Name That Obscure Cos-Play Character” and I knock his socks off with my vast knowledge of Hoth and Miyazaki. We wake up at unholy hours to beat the crowds and snag a coveted parking space beneath the convention center. We have long conversations about comic book writing and argue over the merit of The Big Bang Theory. We trek all over the gas lamp district of San Diego and find ourselves in sidewalk cafes or grocery stores inhabited by superheroes and steampunk gents. And there’s something really beautiful about the whole thing.

I run around trying to soak up everything I can. I don’t have just one obsession—I love it all. After deciding which day to wear my Beatrix Kiddo track suit and which day to wear my Jayne Cobb hat, I walk the immense distributer floor several times, yes, even completing vendor scavenger hunts to win Emily the Strange souvenirs and running through the crowds to be the first to snatch tickets to exclusive movie screenings, and of course, collecting the daily Warner Brothers' bag to hold all my schwag. I test out the video games, peruse the artist’s corner, get snapshots with actors (and people with awesome costumes), have comics signed by writers, and wait in insanely long lines for the good stuff in Hall H (although braving the Twilight fans is the scariest thing at ComicCon).

I love ComicCon. Comic Con is a gathering of 150 thousand of my peeps. It’s amazing to find yourself in this realm where everyone cares about the same things you do, everyone gets your obscure references and jokes, everyone is comfortable with each other. There’s an unspoken code of acceptance. The guy who spends his nights barricaded in comic book stores playing Magic the Gathering fits in here. The insomniac who’s obsessed with beating Mass Effect 2 while buzzed on seven energy drinks fits in here. The fanatic who insists on always wearing their Star Trek turtle neck under their clothes fits in here. The casual blogger who hasn’t read a single comic book, but loves movies fits in here. Everyone has a neat little space. No one is turned away (well, unless you didn’t grab your ticket far enough in advance—then you’re screwed).

ComicCon is time set apart to bond with my fellow man, including my best friend, my brother. It’s a consecrated time of peace and unity, when everything feels right. It’s a time to put the world aside, and connect with your inner-kid. In my case, it’s a time when my entire family (all of us grown with jobs across the nation) takes a vacation and meets up in San Diego, because no one wants to miss out on the fun.

Kick-Ass: With no power comes no responsibility

Kick-Ass is not your mom’s superhero movie. It’s better.

Based on the comic book by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr., this film is about a kid who decides to dress up like a superhero, fight evils of the world, and get his ass kicked. From the beginning it teems with dialogue to make you chuckle. By the end, you can’t suppress long-winded laughter.

Our main hero, affectionately called Kick-Ass, is played by Aaron Johnson— an actor made tabloid-famous for knocking up the director of his to-be-released follow-up film. But he owns Kick-Ass. Playing the geeky awkward kid, it would’ve been easy for him to slip into faux Michael Cera mode, but he doesn’t. He makes the character his own, and he’s relatable and likable.

As much as I love the title hero, the show-stealer is Hit Girl, played by my official favorite little actress: Chloë Moretz. Previously, she stole scenes in 500 Days of Summer. In Kick-Ass, this girl delivers her lines with such dry wit, you can’t help but adore her. Plus she’s the character who really does kick ass. As she swore like a sailor and brutally killed villains, my friend sitting next to me said, “Awww. She’s so cute.” Now that’s talent.

Putting aside the awesome actors, there’s only one word to describe the plot: fun.

At one point, the plot takes a turn that’s a little too over-the-top for my taste, but it’s a detail near the end that doesn’t hurt the film much.

Catch Kick-Ass in theaters with friends. It’s a blast.

The Crazies: "This is really happening."

Before you see this film, the less you know about the plot, the better. I sat down in the theater armed only with the expectation that I would see crazy people, and I walked away from the experience pleased with the structure, pacing, and style in which the film unveiled the plot. So I’m trying to refrain from spoiling anything, in hopes that you’ll see this better-than-expected refreshment.

The Crazies is a remake of George A. Romero’s forgotten 1973 film by the same name. (I’ve never seen the original. In fact, I’d never heard of the original until recently, but George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead is one of my most cherished DVDs.) I sensed some of George A. Romero’s playfulness shining through in The Crazies, but for the most part, the film took itself pretty seriously. Sure, this film fulfills a lot of stereotypes (the far-fetched scenarios, some predictable deaths, the hopeless romantics), but it is also much more sophisticated than most films in its genre.

From the very first scene, I was hooked by the storytelling. Not only did the film waste no time establishing tension, but from the beginning the characters were fleshed out and more multi-dimensional than most horror representations. As the plot progressed, the storytelling only became more refined—clean, intelligent, satisfying. When I wished for a character to do something smart, it was like they heard my thoughts and took heed.

Aside from the writing, this film was shot as a masterpiece in tension-building. My favorite scene starts with people talking in a dark room where they have no escape. Pretty typical horror stuff, right? But the scene sets itself apart as something special when the characters start to hear a peculiar noise—an unsettling scratching of metal. Instead of jumping to the action, the scene allowed just the right amount of time for the audience to sit in the dark and hear the metallic noise come closer and closer, finally culminating in something much more disturbing and awesome than I could have imagined while waiting in the dark. I was on the edge of my seat for the entire movie.

With most true-blue horror movies, I don’t recommend them to people unless they’re actually into horror for its own sake. But this film pushes the plot and writing into the realm of “good,” where most horror films fear to tread. So, fear not.

Inglourious Basterds: "That's a bingo!"

For Christmas I received a fresh special edition, 2-disc copy of Inglourious Basterds, and I have renewed my vows of love for this film. Few films can deliver like this WWII revenge story served Tarantino style. The plot, dialogue, acting, cinematography, and set design all bear the watermark of this master storyteller’s original and refreshing writing and directing. As always, Tarantino’s story wastes no time sinking its teeth deep into the audience. Mr. Tarantino knows how to build tension within scenes and from scene to scene, culminating in one of the most satisfying finales ever put to celluloid.

The audience cannot help but invest in the film’s developed and dimensional characters. I especially love how everyone speaks their own language (the Germans speak German, the French speak French, etc.) and when someone tries to speak another language it isn’t a cakewalk—there are accent anomalies and cultural differences that make it difficult. This fact alone makes the film feel more natural than a lot of WWII films. However, Tarantino’s brilliance in character development goes far beyond linguistic variation. A full chapter of the film is afforded to introduce each of the three principal characters. Each generous introduction offers a glimpse into a fully-realized world in itself, complete with the intricacies and complexities of real people—with a little Tarantino attitude and sharp wit thrown in. Tarantino’s flavorful character development results in villains that the audience hopes to see brutally punished, to the point that when certain baddies are beaten with baseball bats, having swastikas carved into their foreheads, shot until their flesh peels off, and yes, even burned alive while shot with machine guns, asphyxiated, and blown up at the same time, the violence is necessary for the film—even gratifying—instead of vulgar.

Blood and gore aside, this is a gorgeous film. The risks Tarantino takes with 30-minute long scenes, bird’s eye views through cutaway set pieces, and unconventional music choices all succeed in making the film something more meaningful to contemplate as a work of art, separate from the story and characters. You could mute the dialogue, and the images with the accompanying score would remain as something inherently beautiful and daring.

In all honesty, there is one scene I would change in the film: the one with Mike Myers playing Winston Churchill’s right hand man. It feels a little out-of-place and out of pace with the rest of the story, moving slowly and with some redundant plot explanation. I think this scene could have been edited or eliminated, but that is my one small complaint for what is otherwise a perfect film.

Hands down, I rate this film the best of the year. Nothing else comes close to touching it. Since Tarantino’s reputation precedes him, he had a lot of pressure while making this film, and he surpassed all expectations. He created the capstone WWII movie, and I think it will be quite a while before someone returns to the genre. No one can rewrite history more satisfyingly and meaningfully than Quentin Tarantino.

AVATAR: Not the Last Airbender

James Francis Cameron is kind of a geek god. My peers love to remember him for his works The Terminator, Rambo, and Aliens. But I like to remind people that he also made Titanic, one of his most critically-acclaimed films but also one of his most boring— a beautiful display of his inability to edit. I say Titanic is only one of his worst films, because Avatar, while visually appealing, was a three-hour film (that felt like it lasted days) with a predictable plot and the most terrible screenwriting I’ve heard in a while. If the cliché one-liners every three seconds aren’t enough to make you cringe, being beaten over the head with five simultaneous political messages might do the trick.

As I said, the visual effects were the redeeming factor. The world created by Cameron was vibrant, with some delicious textures. And the line between the live-action shooting and the computer generated images was seamless. A lot of the time you forgot you were watching CG characters. At the same time, it was disappointing that this alien world that held so much creative potential was inhabited mostly by creatures similar to that of creatures on Earth (the aliens had their own versions of wild dogs and horses with some alien-esque modifications). These aliens, who had so many possibilities for a unique existence, were a blatant carbon copy of Native Americans. Their religion, speech, clothing, hunting methods, and social structure were unoriginal. Clearly, Cameron was hoping to create his own LOTR-type universe with another world and another language, but he failed to channel the imaginative genius of Tolkein.

My two cents is to skip Avatar in the theaters (unless you’re a visual effects geek or a masochist) and watch it in the comfort of your own home instead. Upon renting it, you can pause it at the mid-point of 1.5 hours, stretch your limbs, and come back to it later if you choose. I could have easily gone another ten years without seeing this movie.